As Father’s Day approaches, sons and daughters around the country are scrambling for the perfect gift for their dads. Fear not, for I bring good tidings: no financial splurges are necessary for this special day. What’s needed instead are a few simple behavioral adjustments, all of which can be accomplished without spending a penny.
In many households, certain “dad rules” are in place, usually honored in the breach unless it’s Father’s Day. On this day, these rules take center stage. By following them or your family’s equivalent, you’ll create a Father’s Day to remember.
You’ll be treated to a playlist of classic songs, including “Pancho and Lefty,” “Carefree Highway,” “Lonesome L.A. Cowboy,” “Sugaree,” and “Garden Party,” among others. Accept it, and don’t dare change the music. In time, your own offspring will stop appreciating your impeccable taste in music too.
Despite the sweltering heat outside, maintain a signal fire in the firepit throughout the evening. Also, indulge dad’s enthusiasm for gathering firewood, and don’t mind his frequent praise of this activity.
When you’re regaled with tales of childhood, pretend to be hearing them for the first time. And zero in on every joke that involves gorillas, displaying unwavering enthusiasm and no eye-rolling – this is a non-negotiable condition.
Take every T-shirt you’ve borrowed from dad over the years and return them – amnesty will be granted in exchange for your honesty.
When dad initiates an inane conversation about something like the “breakfast draft,” engage with vigor, offering clear thinking, even if the science suggests that French toast, pancakes, and waffles should be the top three breakfast picks.
Be willing to watch Rudy, Hoosiers, or Chariots of Fire from start to finish, and empathize with dad’s expected emotional response – though tears are optional.
