In December, a series of viral TikTok videos celebrated the DINK (dual-income, no kids) lifestyle, showcasing young American couples who enjoyed European vacations, bulk purchases at Costco, and pampering their pets. Initially seen as a joke, these couples were serious about their materialist lifestyle. Timothy P. Carney, author of “Family Unfriendly: How Our Culture Made Raising Kids Much Harder Than It Needs to Be,” argues that declining birth rates in the U.S. are influenced by cultural factors that discourage couples from having children, despite data-driven arguments for the benefits of larger families.
Carney highlights the societal contradictions in America’s approach to parenthood, where the ideal number of children per couple is higher than the actual average birth rate. He suggests that cultural factors, rather than financial concerns, are driving the post-2007 “baby bust.” These factors include demanding parental commitments like travel sports and a lack of family-friendly community design. Additionally, the rise of helicopter parenting and screen distractions contribute to the reluctance to have more children.
To address the declining birth rates, Carney proposes several solutions, including creating family-friendly communities, offering incentives for larger families from employers and the government, and encouraging religious institutions to support families. Despite these efforts, the reluctance to have children is rooted in a cultural shift that places autonomy and personal freedom above parenthood. The normalization of contraception, environmental concerns, and a sense of national guilt contribute to this aversion to having children.
Although evidence shows that married adults with children are happier, a growing demographic rejects parenthood in favor of a self-focused, autonomous lifestyle. The accessibility of contraception has transformed societal views on family size, making it less of a necessity and more of a personal choice. This poses a significant challenge for those advocating for larger families in a culture that prioritizes individualism and self-interest over the responsibilities of parenthood.
